Old Before Your Time

a year ago you drove out of this town, and now you are coming back for the first visit since.
you have been miles away and tonight when I described you to a new friend I realized that
No matter how far you are, you have always been that one person who makes me feel less alone.
I want you to see how I have changed and to see if the time away has changed us.
I’m excited to see that truck pull up and hear your grand adventures over a beer, July cannot come soon enough

You were the first boy

There were others before, but never anything concrete enough to anchor me. I remember meeting you and that smile, that warm genuine smile and knowing that you were what I needed. You asked nothing of me, except that I loved you. Three years later I woke up and realized it all fit wrong, and when i took a moment and looked out past our relationship I saw what I had neglected.

Myself

Its cliche to say I lost myself to you, although it is the truth it was also a choice. I needed to be lost, I needed a break. Before you there were to many years of struggle and tears of loss and destruction and you were the vacation away from it all. When we broke up, you thought it was because I was damaged. In all truth it was because I was ok with being damaged, flawed and fucked up. 

I wanted you to fix me, when what you actually gave me was time and love so that I could heal myself and catch up a bit. 

Three months since we have been broken up and you are finally seeing someone. I know she is easier to love and easier to understand and i wont begrudge you for it. I wish I could call you to tell you how happy I have become you would probably think it is because we are no longer together, but I know the truth. 

They say a great love changes you, but that doesn’t mean you spend the rest of your days together. You learn and grow and take whatever you can to evolve. 

Everyday it is a bit easier for me, and if we were still together I would be scratching your head telling you all of my recent adventures.

Instead I am doing it alone and if all I had were these last few months, it would all be worth it. Everyday it gets easier and everyday I am more alive.

Thanks Adam